Stalking – When Love Becomes a Threat

At first glance, stalking appears to be something that primarily affects people from the media world. Celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Sandra Bullock or Mila Kunis have already been victims; stalkers broke into their homes, wrote them – to put it mildly – suggestive letters and threatened them. In reality, however, this phenomenon does not affect only public figures: in the last ten years, more than 250,000 stalking cases have been registered in Germany. The number of unreported cases is also likely to be enormous, because 1.) stalkers and victims often know each other well and many victims hesitate for a long time before filing a criminal complaint, 2.) the police clearance rate is low and many citizens feel that they would not be helped anyway, and because 3.) the hardly traceable cases of cyberstalking continue to increase.

 

Anger, revenge, obsession or even the desire to exercise power and control over another person – there are many reasons for stalking; the offence occurs within a wide range of different social relationships. In 2007, the anti-stalking provision § 238 was incorporated into the German Criminal Code, so far with only moderate success. Most police stalking investigations are discontinued due to a lack of evidence, and convictions are rare – despite the reform of the anti-stalking law in 2017. Since then, criminal liability is assumed if the behaviour of the perpetrator is “capable” of “seriously impairing” the victim’s life.

 

Nevertheless, those affected must of course still provide appropriate evidence. The support of our experienced private investigators from Berlin is helpful in this regard. Even in cases where the identity of the stalker is not known, capable investigators are the right contacts. They discreetly document the stalker’s activities in the background, carrying out a form of counterstalking and thus recognising potential dangers in good time. Through the work of Kurtz Investigations Berlin, stalking can be proven in court in order to create the conditions for the judiciary to take action: +49 30 5557 8641-0.

What Is Stalking? An Attempt at a Definition.

But what exactly lies behind the term “stalking”, whose origin “to stalk” comes from the language of hunters and describes the act of creeping up on game? When do unpleasant but tolerable attempts at contact become a criminal offence, indeed even a case for our detectives in Berlin?

 

The criminal psychologist and non-fiction author Dr. Jens Hoffmann was one of the first researchers to deal with this topic scientifically: “Stalking occurs repeatedly and at least over several weeks,” he explains. “The victim sets clear boundaries: Do not call me again! However, these boundaries are not accepted by the stalker.” Being stalked is in most cases accompanied by a massive loss of quality of life. The constant feeling of threat and the fear of leaving the house alone severely restrict those affected. And not only that.

Psychological Consequences of Stalking

In a study by the Kriminologisches Forschungsinstitut Niedersachsen, 88 per cent of female victims stated that they were extremely stressed. Sixty-one per cent also reported feelings of anxiety, and 30 per cent feared being injured by the stalker. Another study by TU Darmstadt shows that two thirds suffer from sleep disorders, and half of those affected from depression. The fear that becomes the central focus in the world of stalking victims is sometimes so strong that it can lead to Post‑Traumatic Stress Disorder. The psychologist Jan H. Kamphuis of the University of Amsterdam interviewed 201 victims; it turned out that some were traumatised almost as severely as after an aeroplane crash. Clients of Kurtz Detective Agency Berlin who were affected also showed strong stress reactions – ranging from uncontrollable tears to physical collapse.

 

And the fear for one’s own life is unfortunately not unfounded. A study by the British University of Gloucestershireshowed that in 358 investigated murder and manslaughter cases, stalking had preceded the crime in 94 per cent of cases. Stalking can therefore be a signal of a concrete threat to life and limb. Numerous examples can also be found in Germany: as recently as February 2019, a woman in Frankfurt was killed by her ex-boyfriend after he had stalked her for weeks.

 

What drives people to such extreme behaviour?

What Drives Stalkers?

More than fifty per cent of perpetrators are ex-partners of the victims – a statistical observation that corresponds with the experience of our Berlin detective office. Among other things, this has biological causes. After a separation, the body is in a state of shock. Happiness hormones such as serotonin suddenly disappear; the body attempts to compensate for the loss with an increased release of dopamine. As a result, so-called “frustration attraction” develops, meaning an individually perceived increase in a person’s attractiveness caused by their rejection or lack of interest. Love for the former partner suddenly grows stronger again, and the physical separation appears unbearable. Yet what is normal heartbreak for most people becomes an obsession for the stalker, a pathological behavioural disorder. Psychologists assume that stalkers’ difficulties in accepting the end of a relationship are primarily rooted in their childhood.

 

Stalkers often have not learned how to build trusting relationships and, due to negative experiences of separation, find it difficult to cope with rejection. When they are rejected again in adulthood, their reaction therefore resembles that of a small child, according to the aforementioned Dr. Jens Hoffmann. “The pursuit and angry protest of the stalker are clear signs of this.” A distorted perception of reality is also often the result; it serves to protect one’s own self-esteem and also occurs in many other contexts. Kurtz Detective Agency Berlin could tell many stories of employees who, after being confronted with undeniable evidence of their misconduct and the resulting dismissal, developed an absurdly distorted perception of themselves that bore no resemblance to factual reality. A self-critical examination of the painful separation is avoided at all costs. “The stalker then tells himself that the other person actually wants to be with him but does not show it. Or he assumes that it is a romantic game,” says Hoffmann. The psychotherapist Moritz Müller confirms this: “From a psychological perspective, stalking is the misguided coping with an inner distress, the feeling of powerlessness,” he explains. “What would actually be necessary is mourning.” And healthy self-reflection, one might add.

Relief not only through Detectives but also thanks to Qualified and Committed Counselling Centres

Counselling centres can help. Not only the victims, but also the perpetrators. It must be attempted to convey to the latter that the loss of a relationship does not entail the loss of the “core of one’s own identity”, says Müller. Reaching the perpetrator in time may make it possible to prevent the situation from escalating. Some stalkers are not even aware, without external psychological assistance, that their behaviour frightens their former partner and that there are better strategies for winning back an ex-partner. In addition, evaluating the perpetrator can often remove at least part of the victims’ fear. The Stalking Risk Profile, developed by English and Australian experts, serves to assess the risk posed by stalkers. Whether there is an increased risk of violence is assessed on the basis of “red flags” in the stalker’s behaviour and statements. These include, in addition to violent behaviour in previous relationships, psychotic symptoms such as delusions or pathologically jealous behaviour. Expressing suicidal intentions is also regarded as critical, as there is a danger that the stalker may plan to take the victim with them in death. Other signals include “all-or-nothing” statements such as “If I cannot have her, no one else will either.” However, evaluation according to this guideline must be treated with caution; it naturally cannot provide statements with one hundred per cent certainty regarding the perpetrators’ propensity for violence. In cases of doubt, the authorities or, in preparation for legal proceedings, competent private investigators should be contacted.

 

In general, when dealing with stalkers it is important to make it unequivocally clear that no further contact is desired. Afterwards, possibilities for contact, for example via social networks or mobile phones, should be reduced. For those at risk, the following applies: social media profiles in particular should be accessible only to people one knows personally. Scrolling through the latest activities of the victim can become a dangerous driving force for more serious compulsive actions. If the psychological burden becomes too great, it is advisable to contact a therapist. Naturally, Kurtz Investigations Berlin is also happy to assist affected clients in arranging contact with established support organisations.

Note

Kurtz Detective Agency Berlin does not guarantee the accuracy or applicability of information on linked third-party pages.

Editor: Patrick Kurtz

 

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